Probably one of my favorite rooms at the @flutterexperience - because the moment I stepped inside and saw the shapes and neon and black light glow...I was instantly transported back to 1987 and 14 years old again and standing in the bathroom with the black light I had saved up my allowance for, trying to learn how to put neon pink eyeshadow on that my cousin gave me because my mom wouldn't let me wear makeup yet and all I wanted was to fit in with the cool kids, get the cute boy I had a crush on to notice me and to feel beautiful for the first time in my life. .
It was pretty intense to have so many emotions and memories hit me at once...especially when my own 14 year old was experiencing this for the first time and we stood together smearing neon makeup on our faces in the mirror in front of the black light.
It's 2020 now.
I'm 46 instead of 14.
My mother died 18 years ago and never got to meet my youngest child.
I still don't wear makeup.
I still wish I could fit in sometimes.
I still wish the guy I have a crush on as an adult, will decide he likes me too.
I still struggle to feel beautiful. .
But I hope that someday, when my youngest is 46, there is a moment where a room full of neon paint and black lights brings memories of standing in front of a mirror at age 14, smearing neon makeup around on cheeks and noses, next to mom...and all of the memories from this day produces a smile. .
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